


Second Kiss

by berribitch



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: AU where Evan doesnt screw everything up, Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, a little awkward but hey whatever, also not mentioned but Connor sure as heck isnt dead, but its soft, i dont think theres enough to warrant a tag but theres some yknow mentions of, it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this, its just a kiss, its not really mentioned but it is important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 06:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13358265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berribitch/pseuds/berribitch
Summary: He can feel how dry his mouth is and that is utterly embarrassing, given the situation. And he wonders, as he licks his lips and wipes his other palm on his shirt in what he hopes is a subtle way, if he can back out now.In which Evan and Zoe share their first kiss, sorta, but mostly their second.





	Second Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> This is just zoe and evan smoochin like... thats it. Theres nothing else! I have no excuse honestly. Also wowie this is my first work posted here so. Look at that. The dawn of a new era!

The kiss is soft in a way that he never quite expected from her. It's not soft in the lulling, comforting way that he had imagined. It's nothing like a warm embrace and maybe it's because they're not embracing at all. It's hesitant and insecure, and he wonders what could have made her feel so unsure. 

It's only when she pulls away, eyes fluttering open that he sees it. Her head is hung low, but she looks up at him, hair pulled back. Her hands are wringing together in a fashion that Evan himself is all too familiar with. She pulls herself inward, hands tightly wound and grasping the front of her shirt and Evan is still standing, hanging loosely by some thread of sanity. Her shoulders are hunched and she seems so small, so unlike how Evan knows her to be, but she's still staring straight back at him, unwavering, and it's her gaze that finally makes the thread snap. 

It snaps and it must have because surely Evan lost his mind. His hand moves on its own accord, it must have because surely Evan would never. But without thought, his hand glides up and his fingers barely graze her cheek. Her cheek is smooth, exactly what he expects and somehow that is more daunting than the unexpected in this scenario. She tilts her chin up marginally. He places his palm more securely on her skin in what he can only call a caress. 

And then he's stuck. He begins to notice how sweaty his palms are and his hand is on her face. He notices their faces are too close and her warm breath fans over his cheeks and he's suddenly too hot. He knows he must look awful up close and it was better when she had her eyes closed. He can feel how dry his mouth is and that is utterly embarrassing, given the situation. And he wonders, as he licks his lips and wipes his other palm on his shirt in what he hopes is a subtle way, if he can back out now. 

Except her eyes drift away from his, and for a moment he thinks he missed his shot. But her eyes drift down, towards his cracked lips that are still too dry after he licked them for the second time, and he finds it entirely too cliche. He can't decide if he wants her to think that was intentional or not. 

He brings his free hand to her shoulder. It's awkward, but he's awkward. His hand is only lightly placed on her shoulder though so he takes the opportunity to slide it to the nape of her neck. It fits more snugly there and he likes the feel of her skin, her hair, her everything. Her eyes dart back up to his, and he pulls her closer, just slightly because there's almost no space left between them. Her eyes are clear and bright. He can see the faint, barely there freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her nose. She smells sweet and he's too hot again. It's overwhelming. She overwhelms him in the best way possible. 

Her lashes flutter about and she seems so close to closing her eyes, but doesn't, as if she's waiting for him to make the first move. And she is, he realizes with some sense of panic. She's waiting and she's patient, but he doubts she can stand there all day. (He could. He really thinks he could just stand there all day, letting her overtake his senses.) 

The panic is starting to set in, creeping up his throat. Whether he leans in or moves away, it's his choice in the end. He knows. He knows and it terrifies him to the very core, shakes him up and jumbles his thoughts because he has never made a good decision in his life. Thoughts of sweaty palms, a red face, and hot labored breaths flood his mind. He hardly even feels the pressure in his right hand, but when he does, his vision focuses on her eyes once again (when had he looked away?) and he realizes she's leaning into it. She's leaning into his probably disgusting hand as if she enjoys it. And it makes him less aware of his own body, and more aware of her body on his. Fingers are just barely brushing against his shirt, right where his collarbone is. Her other hand dances lightly at his waist as if wanting to finally embrace him. And he can't just walk away from this moment. He can't because how long has he been waiting for this? How long has she been? And it only takes a whisper that's too loud, a soft, pressing, "Evan?" from her lips for him to decide the answer is _too long _.__

____

__

So he pushes forward and his slightly chapped lips meet hers. They're incredibly soft. They're soft and warm and sweet and it's exactly what he imagined. And yet, the kiss itself is nothing like he could have thought of.

It's awkward, but he's awkward too. And she's a little awkward as well, he's learned. Noses keep bumping and Evan isn't exactly sure what he's doing. But his lips are pressed against hers, melded together like liquid, and he's drinking it all in. She replies in kind, her hands finally placed firmly against him. She's much more confident now. Her hand on his chest inches its way up until it's resting right where his neck meets his shoulder, touching bare skin, fingers barely slipped under his collar. His heart clenches, and he feels thrilled and charged, and yet more relaxed than he has in a long time. He's still too warm and he might have sweaty palms, but it's hard to notice for too long when there's the ceaseless pressure of her lips on his. He lightly plays with her hair as his other arm moves to wrap around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. Zoe's mouth parts slightly, and Evan is clueless but eager so he follows along. Her fingers skitter around and it makes his hair stand on end and sends a shiver down his spine. He wonders if that's just how she is or if she's doing this on purpose. He sighs into her mouth and he worries that it's going to disgust her, but it just seems to encourage her further. 

She presses harder, and the kiss turns too fast into something Evan can't keep up with. He tries, _he tries _to make his lips meld but it suddenly feels too much like a key trying to fit into the wrong lock and Evan pulls away quickly. His arms rip away from her wildly. He's breathing heavily, and he thinks it has less to do with the kiss and more to do with his nerves.__

____

____

Eyes dart around wildly before falling onto Zoe. Her eyes are blown wide and her face is red. Arms and hands and fingers still touching him, she looks startled and embarrassed, and that's not what he expected. 

"Sorry," she says, only slightly breathless. "Was that..." she trails off and her eyebrows crinkle and Evan nods before she can even finish the sentence. He regrets it instantly and berates himself for it, but he has no need to worry because she disentangles herself from him and suddenly there is no skin to skin contact and he breathes a little easier. Heat still floods his entire body, but he thinks that's just because Zoe is there. 

Silence fills the newfound space between them. Zoe stares at him and he hangs his head. Eye contact had never been his strong suit anyway. He licks his lips and he really needs to stop, doesn't he? 

They have nothing to say and yet they're standing just too close. So close. It's like he's right back where they started. He swallows thickly and his hands grasp at everything and nothing, just wringing together awkwardly. His face is warm and probably splotchy, but he at least can be grateful that he's not crying yet because that would definitely gross Zoe out. Tears aren't streaming down his face. Disgust isn't marring Zoe's. In fact, it's the opposite. Zoe is smiling at him. It's small but genuine, and that's all Evan can ask for at this moment. Everything is not as terrible as it could be, he thinks. 

He still needs to make a quick exit. He tries to take a step back, to get away, to put some distance between him and this moment, but she stops him. Her hand grabs his a little too roughly and he stops before he even gets the chance to move. 

"Wait." A frown graces her face and Evan is petrified. "Where are you going?" Her hand is still grasping his tightly. It almost hurts. His eyes drop down to her delicate fingers gripping so hard to his that they're white. "Evan?" Breaths still don't come steadily. Hands are still sweaty. Face is still unbearably hot. 

And then her grip loosens. And Evan thinks she's going to leave and that's it. So he intertwines their fingers clumsily as his eyes lift towards hers. She puts up no struggle. 

A wave of embarrassment washes over him, but Zoe hasn't pulled away yet. Her eyebrows are still scrunched up and her lips are almost pouting and Evan knows it's probably better not to think too much about her lips so he looks down at their hands again. 

"So," Evan starts with no real idea of where he's headed, "that was...nice." And he instantly wants to throw himself off the nearest bridge. 

A laugh rings out, and he didn't actually expect her to laugh at him, and he is actually hurt by it, even if her laugh is melodic. Swatting at him with her free hand, she smiles brightly at him. "Yeah. It was nice." And then they're in sync again and Evan calms down, even if only slightly. He takes a deep breath and decides he can laugh at himself, too.


End file.
